According to Jamesen, sweet potatoes are the best thing since sliced bread, Marcus is the coolest person on the planet, paper is yummy, anything you're eating should go into his mouth, the floor is the best place to be, napping is overrated, mom is the the "go to girl", tickling is the best game ever, Gary is SOOOO soft and awesome and mommy's hair is a fun toy.
According to Marcus, nothing is good without ketchup, dad is the best toy, outside is THE coolest place in the universe no matter how cold, the Christmas Ornaments need to be pulled off and put back on 50 times a day, Jamesen's toys are really his toys, Mommy can make any hurt better with a kiss, music is the most amazing thing, 101 Dalmations is the number one movie and diluted V8 Fusion is WAYYYYYY better than water lightly spiked with pedialyte.
On days when they're both screaming non stop I tend to forget that what little wonders they are. It's so humbling to see life through a child's eyes. I'm so bent up about everything all day long that I forget to stop and tell Marcus his body parts, numbers and colors or play a game of tickle with Jamesen. Being a SAHM is hard and I tend to think negatively about it. I think about all the things I would be doing [mainly sleeping] if I wasn't a mom. I'm turning around and time is flying by and I'm not living in the now. I'm not being a nice person to anybody in my family and it's really taking a toll on everyone [especially me].
I've been a huge grump lately. My excuse has been that I've been on a major emotional rollercoaster and hormone imbalance this, hormone imbalance that but the truth is I'm missing the now. Fighting with Sabe won't make things better. Yes he changed Marcus' bed time routine on me. Is that the end of the world? No. Yes Marcus is crying and whining. Obviously somethings wrong and I need to fix it. Jamesen is pissed. Have I changed him lately? I'm so absorbed in myself lately that I"ve been putting my family on the back burner. My house is trashed, my husband is pissy because I've been yelling at him, my kids are upset because we've not been outside in ages.
I think I need to suck it up and take Marcus to the park tomorrow. Who cares about Jamie. If she tries to start stuff then I'll just ignore her. I wont let her rule my life. Tomorrow I'm going to make it all about the kids. I think I'll let my house suffer and be dirty still. It'll all be there tomorrow.
Here's to a new day and a New Year's Resolution to be more about family and less about me!
The ''Bug" in me is back
8 years ago
Oh Adi! I am so sorry! If it makes you feel any better, I think a lot of us miss the now by "whining" about all the yuckies! I realized the same thing this week. (And, I laughed about the ornaments on and off the tree a million times as Sophia does the same thing!!!!!!!)
ReplyDeleteYep, I agree with Lisa, I think we all have to work on this. It's not our natural tendency.
ReplyDeleteAnyway, I hope you start feeling better! (hugs)
Don't feel bad! it is SO natural to feel the way you're feeling. I feel that way every other day. There's nothing to be ashamed about, or to feel guilty about. Dealing with 2 kids so young is VERY VERY hard, and you are doing an amazing job!
ReplyDeleteLes used to work 14- 14 hour days in a row. I was basically a single mom. I did the crabby too. I understand where you are coming from. Something I noticed is that when I was crabby or stressed, my kids were crabby too. They can feel the tension. When I'm happy, they're happy. I started working two days a week...because I felt like I needed a break. Now, I sometimes wish I was at home all the time with them because I miss them. You can never win Adi. Enjoy the moment while you have it, because they grow so fast.
ReplyDelete