December 30

December 30th is a good day. Even if everything went wrong that day it would still be a good day because it's the day that Sabe and I got hitched! It was definitely a turning point in our lives. Not only did we have you and me, we soon found out we were preggo with a tornado and it would soon be you, me and thing 1. By today, our third anniversary, we are you, me, thing 1 and thing 2.

This is gonna be a mushy post, but I can honestly say that I would never take marrying Sabe back. Anyone who knows the before Sabe me and the after Sabe me knows that the after Sabe is a much better person. Sabe completed me and I wanted to be a better person for him. He loved me and helped me through my insecurities and loves me no matter how I look or smell [you know, the whole mom thing... where I don't always get a shower...] or even if I'm stressing and bite his head off. He's always there for me and the boys. Even if he's not always physically here with us, he's always there for us.

Sabe and I don't always get a long [married couples never do, obviously] but we've been pretty good about setting aside our anger and coming back to the "we". My love for him has changed, but it's not lessened. It's grown over time to something I can't even describe. He's cleaned up my puke and other bodily fluids, helped me get out of bed or the couch when I was huge and pregnant, run to the store for something that my preggo cravings HAD TO HAVE NOW, worked long hours, helped me get dressed, etc and it's all because he loves me. He's seen me in my most vulnerable state. I've told him things I've never told anyone else. He's the person I go to first. The person who won't judge me or bail on me. He's the one single person that I can always count on to love my children more than life itself and do everything in his power to protect them.

Thank you, Sabin, for these three years of love, laughter and quarrels. Thank you for the two currently sleeping hellians/angels that you've blessed me with. Most of all, thank you for loving me. Happy Anniversary.

Hello from Arkansas!

As all of you know, we drove to Arkansas to spend Christmas with our closest family, Frank and Dorothy. We're going to be here until the third and I have to say, it's so fun being here! Kahlan and Marcus don't always get along [Marcus likes to knock over her toys and stuff] but they love playing together. Jamesen loves the attention from everyone and it's nice to have Sabe home!

Jamesen had never met Uncle Frank so I had to take pics of it. Blogger's taking forever to upload pics though, so you only get one.


And then Dorothy took Jamesen into the bathroom to play in the mirror and it was way too cute for me to not take pics of it!

Some Christmas Eve pics. Our stockings right to left: Jamesen, Marcus, Sabe, me, Frank, Kahlan, Dorothy.

Before Santa

After

Christmas morning

We accidentally left the big train set at home so this has had to do, sadly. It'll be much better when we get it on the table and can just leave it there.
For those of you who sent money and had me pick up the gifts, Shauna you got him the firehouse with the slide and the yellow box that says Chuck on it [it's more little cars to go in there], Lynne you got him two sets of three trains that are in the box with the track pieces but the pic of him opening a present is the one from you. Mom your gift to him isn't pictured because we accidentally left it at home, sorry.

Most of Jamie's loot. Again, for those of you who sent money, Lynne you got the toy that's right next to him that you can see the red and yellow bird on the corner, Shauna you got him the outfit he's wearing [he's not wearing the pants obviously] and a bathtub toy that Marcus was playing with while I was taking this pic [has a penguin sitting on a boat and you wind it up and let it go] and mom you can see the shoes :)

Have a very Merry Christmas everyone! We love and miss all of you who aren't with us.

Does this look dangerous to you?

If you can believe, I've had someone say [when Jamesen was completely, totally and blissfully passed out in it], "Wow that looks so uncomfortable. I would hate to be in that thing if I were him." I was just like "Yeah he obviously totally hates it."

Then I had one lady come up and tell me that "those things" are dangerous and looked at me like I had three heads when I didn't take him out and walked away.

Then I had another lady who was behind me in a line say "He's not gonna fall out of that thing is he?" to which I snorted, said no and turned around and she goes "are you sure?" "Yes I put my child into something that I know he'll fall out of and then go in public and walk around so he can fall out in front of a million people". and she said "I guess not." Yeah, no duh.

But today, today takes the cake! I was wearing him while walking to a park. I was walking down a [not very busy] street and this lady slowed down so she was driving at my pace and told me this story about how her friend use to wear her baby in one of those things and how her baby fell out on the concrete and was in the hospital because of head trauma and when I didn't take him out she proceeded to tell me what a horrible mother I was for endangering my child and that she was going to call the MP's on me and get my kids taken from me since I'm so obviously an unfit mother!

So yes, obviously I'm an unfit mother. If wearing your child means you're an unfit mother then nobody is a fit parent. Wearing my child is safer than driving with them in a car!

If Santa were a woman

Marcus would have gone up to her, sat on her lap and been all smiles for the camera. Since Santa is not a woman, Marcus smiled and was loving him, until he realized I was putting him on his lap that is. It went from HUGE smile to this look of shock and terror, lol! Santa did pretty good at holding him on his lap while he was trying to get away though.


I kept telling them to take the picture while Marcus was screaming and they didn't do it. I honestly would have picked that one. They had one where he wasn't making a horrible face but he wasn't smiling and the girl was like "So you want this one right?" and I was like "No I want the middle one" and she looked at me like I had 3 heads, lol. I really wish they had listened to me and gotten the pic when he was screaming. Oh well.

At least this year we got a good Santa!

I do have to say though, that I will NEVER forget to go to the military santa again. The mall pics are a rip off! $20 for a fuzzy picture? They handed me the pic and I was like "wow. If i had whipped my camera out I could have gotten a better pic than this printed at walgreens!" Of course, not out loud but I sure thought it!

And what's with the "season's greetings". You say that to people when you're not sure if they celebrate Christmas. People getting pics with Santa are celebrating Christmas! Write Merry Christmas! Geeze!

Through Their Eyes

According to Jamesen, sweet potatoes are the best thing since sliced bread, Marcus is the coolest person on the planet, paper is yummy, anything you're eating should go into his mouth, the floor is the best place to be, napping is overrated, mom is the the "go to girl", tickling is the best game ever, Gary is SOOOO soft and awesome and mommy's hair is a fun toy.

According to Marcus, nothing is good without ketchup, dad is the best toy, outside is THE coolest place in the universe no matter how cold, the Christmas Ornaments need to be pulled off and put back on 50 times a day, Jamesen's toys are really his toys, Mommy can make any hurt better with a kiss, music is the most amazing thing, 101 Dalmations is the number one movie and diluted V8 Fusion is WAYYYYYY better than water lightly spiked with pedialyte.

On days when they're both screaming non stop I tend to forget that what little wonders they are. It's so humbling to see life through a child's eyes. I'm so bent up about everything all day long that I forget to stop and tell Marcus his body parts, numbers and colors or play a game of tickle with Jamesen. Being a SAHM is hard and I tend to think negatively about it. I think about all the things I would be doing [mainly sleeping] if I wasn't a mom. I'm turning around and time is flying by and I'm not living in the now. I'm not being a nice person to anybody in my family and it's really taking a toll on everyone [especially me].

I've been a huge grump lately. My excuse has been that I've been on a major emotional rollercoaster and hormone imbalance this, hormone imbalance that but the truth is I'm missing the now. Fighting with Sabe won't make things better. Yes he changed Marcus' bed time routine on me. Is that the end of the world? No. Yes Marcus is crying and whining. Obviously somethings wrong and I need to fix it. Jamesen is pissed. Have I changed him lately? I'm so absorbed in myself lately that I"ve been putting my family on the back burner. My house is trashed, my husband is pissy because I've been yelling at him, my kids are upset because we've not been outside in ages.

I think I need to suck it up and take Marcus to the park tomorrow. Who cares about Jamie. If she tries to start stuff then I'll just ignore her. I wont let her rule my life. Tomorrow I'm going to make it all about the kids. I think I'll let my house suffer and be dirty still. It'll all be there tomorrow.

Here's to a new day and a New Year's Resolution to be more about family and less about me!

Low Crawling and C'mas Lights

We gave Jamesen carrots, applesauce and sweet potato over the last few weeks. He was confused by the carrots since all he had had before was peas. He doesn't like applesauce [which Marcus didn't like fruit at that age either, weird kids] and he SNARFED the sweet potato. He gets so excited when we put him in the high chair because he knows he's gonna get sweet potato.

Also, he's been low crawling lately. This vid shows it a little bit. I'm having a hard time getting it on video because he always stops to smile at the camera when he sees it coming. He didn't get to the block in the video. He got distracted by Marcus who was attacking me because I was laying on the floor to get on Jamie's level.

I found This Link on FaceBook. I'm such a sucker for Christmas light displays. Christmas lights to music with the music being techno? Marcus was in heaven! Oh you should have seen him the first time he watched it. He was a dancing fool! Here's the like 3rd time after it was getting a bit old :)

Family pics, take 2

Ohhhhh geeze. Shouldn't I have learned my lesson the first time? Shouldn't I have gotten someone to man the camera? Shouldn't I have tried for a time when both kids were properly sleeped [yes I made that word up]. Shouldn't I have been nice to my husband beforehand so we weren't both grumpy?

Yes. I should have. Did I? No I did not. And this is what came out of it:




And so I spent the next almost hour piecing those three pics together [after sifting through about 160 of them to find ones that WOULD piece together] and got this:


And that, my friends, is why I learned how to use photoshop.

Snow

I woke up yesterday to it snowing. I hurried and got the kids dressed, all excited to see Marcus' eyes light up to the falling white stuff only to be disappointed to find it had stopped snowing by the time we got out there. There wasn't much snow at all, just a light frosting and it quickly melted when the sun came up. I, of course, took some pics of Jamie's first snow. We were out at like 8 in the morning so it was around 30*.




On another note, I think Marcus is finally starting to get to that point where he forgets what it was like before Jamesen was around. I've been told it takes about 6 months for that to happen. He's finally starting to interact with Jamesen a bit more. He'll climb into the pack n play and "play" [aka, steal all his toys] with him. He brought his doodle pad over so Jamesen could see him draw. I turned on Nemo and he pushed the pack n play, with Jamesen in it, nearer to the tv and then climbed in there with him.

I've got a friend who's little boy is a couple weeks older than Marcus and her little girl is about a month older than Jamesen. I follow her blog and she's constantly putting up pictures of her little man snuggling the baby and it makes me jealous that Marcus doesn't do the same thing, lol! I know I get some cute pics and things, but most of the time it's me forcing Marcus to sit still and trying desperately to get him to quite screaming just for one pic before his crying makes Jamie start crying. Oi!

I can't wait till they're a bit older and best friends. It'll be so cute.

Temptations

So last night I wrapped our mountain of presents. We got all of our nieces and nephews presents this year because we have the money, unlike every other Christmas we've been together. In total we have 12 nieces and nephew with 3 foster nieces. LOTS of presents! I also got some for my neighbors girls and another friend's little girl.

Marcus of course HAD to help me. It was actually really cute. I would hand him the tape and point where I wanted him to put it. He would then point to where I pointed and blabber some nonsensical thing and then very carefully place the tape right where I told him to. I would then fill out the to and from sticker and hand it to him and he'd carefully place it on the present followed by the bow.

He got ahead of me one time and pulled the entire sticky thing off the bow. I don't think he realized that when I was pulling something off the bow, it was the cover to the sticky part so he just ripped the entire thing off. Maybe he did know, I'm not sure, because I was busy cutting and heard this rip.

Oh and before I forget, as we speak Marcus is trying to stick Jamesen's stocking onto his foot! heehee

Anyways, so in the middle of wrapping was bath time and off he went to bed. This morning you should have seen his face when he saw all the presents! Of course he went straight for them and I had to yell angrily at him as he reached for one, ready to rip the thing to shreds. My friend came over and I gave her Becca's present. She put it on the floor with Becca's coat over top of it. Of course Marcus found it and of course he ripped it open. *rolls eyes*

I can't wait for Christmas though. It's going to be so much fun spending it with Frank and Dorothy [and of course Kahlan]. I'll make sure to take tons of pics! :)

What are the odds?

Honestly, what are the odds of having two very active kids in a row as your first two kids? If you know Marcus, you know he's very active. The kid can literally climb anything he sets his mind to and never stops moving. Even if he's into a movie or a tv show or something he's constantly changing positions on the couch. The only time he just sits and chills is when he's tired and that rarely happens now days.

When Jamesen was in utero, he kicked ten times more often than Marcus. I saw that as a sign but tried to ignore it seeing as how I desperately wanted the opposite to be true. When Jamesen started sitting right on cue with how Marcus did I saw it as a sign but chose to ignore it then too.

I can not ignore it any longer. Jamesen has been doing push ups for about a month now, about 2 months earlier than Marcus started. He's starting to get up on his hands and knees. Again, 2ish month earlier than Marcus. Today he fell over and wasn't quite laying all the way down as the pack n play wall caught him. He pulled himself back up into a sitting position for being almost in a laying down position. I don't remember when Marcus started being able to get himself into a sitting position on his own but I KNOW it wasn't this early.

I'm trying really hard not to be scared at this point. Marcus is a HUGE handful. I'm constantly pulling dangerous stuff away from him, pulling him down from things he's climbed on, etc. How am I going to do it with two? What if I'm so busy paying attention to one that I don't realize the other is doing something and they get seriously injured?

Sabe and his brothers were constantly getting injured growing up for that reason right there. To be honest, I'm really unhappy about Jamesen moving so fast. At this point, I would rather have a kid that doesn't sit until they're 9 months, walk until they're 18 mo, etc. If I go by the 2ish month ahead of Marcus pattern, Jamesen will be walking by 8 and a half months. All I can do is pray that he's strong, but calm [unlike Marcus who is very NOT calm, lol].

*sigh*

Marcus is giving up his naps and it's depressing me. He's not quite at the point where he can go a whole day without napping even though he thinks he can, so he gets super cranky and irritable and cries at you looking at him wrong by the end of the day. It's really quite tiring. It's ok for now since Sabe is home, but come January when Sabe picks up a new cycle, I won't be too happy with that.

He's being really trying lately because of it. As I've stated before, when he doesn't sleep, he doesn't sleep. So this whole not napping thing is taking a toll on his overnight sleeping making him irritable to begin with. Dealing with a cranky toddler who keeps waking up the baby and making him tired and irritable isn't a fun situation. I have to keep reminding myself that yes, Marcus is extremely irritating right now and I wish this stage would hurry and he'd grow up faster so I can move past this, but once he DOES grow up I'm going to look back and wish he hadn't grown so fast. Instead of looking at the irritating things Marcus does, I've been trying to look at the cute things he's doing at this age and cherishing it. It's been making my patience level higher and it drains less now.

Though, my house is trashed. I've seriously gotten to the point where I think to myself "Sit and relax or... spend the next half hour to an hour cleaning up all of his toys only to have him trash it in MAX ten minutes when he wakes up. ... Sit and relax it is!"

I started a new photography blog if you guys wanna follow my journey to professional photographer on there. It's http://adriennelabarephotography.blogspot.com/

Follow up on the spider bite and such

We switched pedis. First off, Jamesen has a bump on his head where his soft spot is and when I took him in for his 4 month they didn't look in his ears, check and make sure he followed stuff with his eyes or even touch his head. And then the dr in the ER being a complete idiot... Yeah we switched.

My neighbor suggested Dr. Saifullah so off we went to him. The biggest thing that impressed me with Dr. S. is that he was so patient with Marcus who was climbing ALL over him. He didn't act like he was in a hurry to rush me out of there and get to the next kid and he listened to me. Reminded me of Marcus' pedi back in Utah.

The spider bite is looking good. The redness and swelling has gone down considerably so we're good on that aspect. The main reason for the visit was the bump on Jamesen's head. THANK GOODNESS it wasn't what I thought it was. I thought his soft spot was closing early and he was going to need surgery. Dr. S. said his soft spot looks just fine. It's on the small side, but plenty of kids have soft spots that size and it perfectly normal.

He did make a "WTHeck?" face when he saw the bump on Jamesen's head though. He's referring us to a neurologist to make sure nothings wrong. He says it's a vein running over top of it and doesn't think we should worry but wants to make sure since it's raised and "in a weird spot".

A funny though, 3 months ago at Marcus' 2 year appointment he weight 26 lbs. He now weighs almost 28. A month ago at Jamsen's 4 month appointment he weighed just over 16 lbs. Today he was close to 18 and a half lbs! Marcus was 18 lbs when he was like 10 months! It's crazy how kids can be so different even when they come from the same family!