Frustrating

I know I've been trying to blog about the positive things for the last couple days, but I'm frustrated...

Marcus will poop in the potty for anybody but me. Sabe and Lynne have both said that he goes to the potty all by himself for them. For me? If he's wearing underwear he just poops in it and then says "uh oh!" if he's not (I thought him going nude would help him poop in the potty better like it did with pee) he poops right on the floor. It's so frustrating! Especially since I'm the one he's with most of the time.

Jamesen is such a bad sleeper. I don't know what it is, but I guess I've been cursed with bad sleepers. We got Marcus to sleep through the night by finally just letting him cry it out and it worked really fast. We've tried it with Jamesen recently but it only wakes Marcus up. It's really frustrating getting home from work at midnight or later only to have to stay up with the boy for an hour or two before I can sleep and then get woken up quite a few times between then and 7ish when he gets up for good. Makes me really tired and then I mess up at work which gets me in trouble.

Ah I feel better now. I was hoping that blogging about my frustrations would do that. Thanks for listening.

OH it's been a day

I've sure had a day [and night actually]. Something is keeping Marcus from sleeping. He wakes up in the middle of the night and turns on his light so he can read his books. This wakes Jamesen up and then we're all up.

BUT....

Even though it's been a day...

Jamesen fell asleep really easy on me for his nap. I snuggled him for a few minutes before putting him in his crib and he just sat there and sighed.

Both boys ate lunch really well. They haven't been eating lunch very well the last few days and barely ate dinner at all so it was good to see them eat.

Marcus has taken himself to the bathroom three times today!

We were watching one of the kid videos and I guess they got bored. Marcus threw the blanket over his head and Jamesen pulled it down. They did that for about 5 minutes straight, laughing and giggling the entire time. Super cute.

Marcus found his games for his Computer Cool School that were supposed to be for his birthday. I loaded them because of the look of excitement on his face and was blown away by his ability to do the games on the ages 4-6 cd.

So yes, I've had a day, but at least it's not be completely full of horribly bad stuff. Definitely could be worse!

A few things...

I think I'm going to start this blog back up. When I first started it, it was to let my family in on what's been going on in my life while we were away in Kentucky. The kids were growing fast. Some hadn't seen Marcus in months or even met Jamesen yet.

Then quite a few struggles happened in my life and I thought it was pointless keeping the blog up. The reason I started it didn't really apply anymore. I didn't care if some people knew about my kids or not and the few that I still did, I called often enough that it seemed quite pointless.

Now, I've gotten past a few things but I still find myself heavily dwelling on the negativities in my life for the past two years. I look back and am surprised that I made it through everything as well as I have. But the fact that I'm dwelling on it is the reason I'm going to continue with this blog. Not for anybody but me. I'm going to fill this blog with all the happy and exciting things in my life, even if they seem few and far between. I need to remind myself that despite everything, I've got a God who loves me and is guiding me through this. Despite everything, my husband loves me and my kids love me. My mom has always been there for me and I don't see that changing any time soon. My best friend is still there for me through everything even though we're at totally different stages in our lives. I've got some online friends who have my back and have supported me and loved me through everything.

For these things, I'm grateful. I'm grateful for the knowledge that there's a loving God to give me comfort and guidance. I'm thankful for my beautiful healthy children. I'm thankful for the fact that they are healthy enough to walk and run and go go go without stopping. I'm thankful for for so many things...

Anyways, I'm rambling a bit now. This is me, making a conscious decision to let go of the past. Learn from it, but stop dwelling on it. To move forward and make the most of what I've got left.

Here's a snippet of just how blessed I am.