"Those" Thoughts

All of the people I know [minus my stalker] on Fort Knox are either pregnant or JUST had a baby within the last month. A really good friend of mine is pregnant. Jake's wife is pregnant. I'm surrounded by pregnant women and I've not had any inkling to have another kid. I've been going back and forth about even wanting another kid, period. I even photographed one of my friend's brand spanking new babies and even though the cuteness was overwhelming, it didn't tug at my maternal strings at all.

I've got a friend who just happens to have the exact same life as me, seriously. We joke all the time that we've got parallel lives. There are so many similarities in our lives and we do the same things at the same time, it's ridiculous. The other day she said something about wanting another one soon and my reaction was, "NOOOO!!" because every time I've gotten pregnant, it was like two weeks after her.

It wasn't until another friend of mine posted their positive pregnancy test that I felt the need to have another baby. Today, I even considered getting pregnant a year earlier than Sabe and I have been planning.

It wasn't because of someone getting pregnant or a tiny baby either. It was Jamesen that did it. I was changing his diaper and tickled his tummy. His laugh and the way he moved and smiled looked SO much like Marcus at this age that I had a flashback of him. The flashback was followed by an extremely quick fast forward to 2.5 years and then a flash forward of me blinking and Jamesen being 2.5 and it made me sad. They grow so quickly.

I felt the pangs of needing another baby tonight. They were strong enough for me to almost go talk to Sabe about getting pregnant again in the next few months. Who knows, maybe Kim and I will be having babies together again after all.