What's in a... date?

I'm coming up on a date that I don't want to live through. I wish I could just skip over this day and pretend like it didn't happen. This date will forever more be a bad day for me I'm afraid. A whole year.

I've come far in that year though. I'm not the person I was a year ago. I think for the better mostly, but I'm definitely not as care free as I use to be (as care free as a young mom with young kids can be).

I've learned who I can count on and who I can't. I've lost people I thought I'd have forever and I gained people who don't realize how much they mean to me. I've also re realized how great the few that stuck around are and how blessed I am to have them.

I'm hoping that Georgia will be like wiping the slate clean. I'll be in a new place where people don't have preconceived notions of me and won't judge me on who I was in the past. I'll be far away from hostile relationships that I'd rather not deal with. My family can move forward and move closer to being happy and healed after all this time apart and in stressful environments and situations.

I hope that I can wake up when I get to Georgia. That I will be able to slough off all the bad and keep the good things around me to help me heal.

Until then, I'll relish in the fact that my boys love my parents and that they love them back. I'll keep myself busy with my photography and the store my mom and I have started together. I'll work on losing the last little bit of weight I've got packed on me for the eventual addition to our family (whenever that will be). I'll take advantage of anymore rain storms Vegas has to test out the new galoshes I bought Jamesen because his feet literally grew over night and he no longer fit his other ones. I'll relish in the fact that Marcus is speaking in sentences and now loves on his brother an equal amount to beating up on him (unlike the constant beatings we had before). I'll try to remember that Jamesen will soon be a teenager and won't want to be constantly attached to me (aka, in my arms slobbering my face with kisses and raspberries). I'll cherish my children and this time that I have with them.

How lucky I am to be blessed with healthy children. Despite everything I've been through, I hold on to that. My children are my life. The one light to guide me through the dark tunnels life has forced me to go through. I'm getting close to the end of the tunnel. I can feel it. Soon I'll be there and it'll be like waking up. I'll wake up and I'll be ok. I'll be able to truthfully say that I'm happy and I'm happy with where I'm at in my life.

Thanks for everybody's support and love. It's greatly appreciated.