Wednesday

Wednesday (the 9th) was a rough day.


We've been waiting on Jamesen's results of his autism test for over a month and Wednesday was the day we finally got them. He was confirmed to have Asperger's Syndrome. If you're interested, here's a low down of what Asperger's basically is: HERE

I knew he had it and had accepted it, so it wasn't too bad hearing it, but it still was kind of like a kick in the gut to have her confirm what I already knew. She did say, though, that with therapy, she would bet any amount of money that he would be able to kick the diagnosis by his teenage years and he would end up just being "shy". We're very hopeful and thankful for that!

The thing that made Wednesday really rough though, was Gemma. We've all been fighting off a nasty bug that's been going around. It really knocks you out and gives you an awful cough. The boys went through it and the cough only lasted a few days, but when Gemma got it, she started having a really hard time breathing, couldn't catch her breath, would have coughing fits that seemed to never end, etc. I called and the pedi managed to get me appointment that day. I left J's appointment, went and picked M up a little early from school and high tailed it to the hospital

The pedi came in and listened to her breathing and then said, "Hold on, I want Dr so and so to take a listen really quick". When she came back, she had 3 other Dr's with her, not one. One by one they listened to my baby girl with scowls on their faces. That was terrifying! They then told me they were going to run some tests on her, that she needed a breathing treatment and and xray and that I was going to be there for awhile.

Luckily, my amazing friend Amber was able to pick the boys up from me at the hospital and watch them because I have no idea how I would have kept them entertained and watched while I was doing all of that! Anyways, we gave her a breathing treatment, they took a listen with more scowls and then sent me off for the xray. When I got back, they told me that the tests for the flu and rsv came back negative and her xray was clear but that she needed another breathing treatment.

After the second breathing treatment, they listened with more scowls, told me they thought it might be whooping cough and would like to treat it as such because it can get bad fast in infants. The test hasn't come back to confirm, but sitting here on Friday I'm pretty sure it's not whooping cough. They told me that the two breathing treatments basically did nothing and  they were thinking of admitting her. They gave me a choice whether I wanted to or not because her oxygen levels had been 100% for most of the time she was being monitored. I chose to take her home after they assured me that they felt comfortable with me taking her, but gave me strict orders to bring her back immediately if anything changed and sent me home with a small buffet of meds.

She did pretty good through the night and we went for our follow up appointment on Thursday. They said she sounded and looked better, but that she was slightly dehydrated and were thinking of admitting her for that. They sent her home with me again after I promised I would push the nursing as much as I could.

Today, Friday, she's doing a lot better. She nursed almost all day yesterday so she was making up for lost calories and she's breathing a ton better. It was a really scary couple days, but we made it through! Now if only *I* could kick this thing because it seriously knocks you out!

Little boys and little sisters

Marcus and Jamesen adore Gemma.

 Marcus begs me to hold her constantly.

 She gets smothered if I don't watch those two boys like a hawk!

 She sure is loved by everyone around.

 The boys coming running in the morning when they wake up, ready to snuggle her.

 I was so afraid I was going to get PPD, but their attitudes towards her and their excitement that she has here is helping me make it through.

 She's such a blessing to us.

  We're so thankful to have her.

 My sweet G girl.

Introducing Miss Gemma Nichole!

She arrived fashionably late, but quicker than quick! It was extremely intense and crazy! If you want to read about it, you can do so here.

So far she's doing great. We got home today after a little more than 24 hours in the hospital. She's a bit jaundiced, but we expected it so we're just keeping an eye on her. She'll have her levels tested again tomorrow afternoon to make sure things are going down. She's nursing fantastically though, so I'm not too worried about it.

The boys just adore her. I'm excited that Jamesen is taking so well to her. He's not jealous at all, but wants to climb into my lap too and just stroke her face. It's so adorable! Marcus is constantly asking to hold her and wants to help change her diapers and such. They're being so cute with her and I feel so blessed at their reactions as it's a total 180 compared to Marcus' reaction when I brought Jamesen home.

Anyways, we're just hanging out and enjoying daddy's paternity leave at the moment. Missing Grandma terribly as she had to go home today (sad face). If you want to see more pics of Gemma, the link to my facebook album is here

Thanks for visiting! :)

Days away...

We're sitting just days away from my due date. I can't help but wonder what Gemma's going to be like. Is she going to be a typical child or are we going to have some developmental problems with her as well? If she IS a typical child, will I be able to handle it?

I've been thinking about this a lot lately. Jamesen has been passing Marcus up on some of things that Marcus can't do. When Marcus was two, he couldn't go and get his shoes when asked or grab a diaper/the wipes etc. Jamesen has been doing it lately and it's really putting into perspective how far behind Marcus is. Even now if I ask Marcus to get something, he has a hard time getting it. I have to point him to exactly where it is, he can't look for it himself. Jamesen has no problem hunting an item out on his own. It's really hard to watch Jamesen do these things that Marcus can't do and not get upset. Don't get me wrong, I'm so proud of Jamesen, but he really puts Marcus and his delays into perspective. It's hard to see your child be so far behind their peers of he same age.

I'm wondering if Gemma will be completely typical. I've got a friend who's got a little girl about 9 months younger than Jamesen that's completely typical. We spend a lot of time over there and sometimes it's really hard to see her just be herself because she just turned two and Marcus barely speaks better than she does. We don't spend all day every day with her though and for the most part, I can forget how far ahead of where Marcus was at that age she is. If Gemma is completely typical, I'll have that all day every day as a reminder. Not that I want her to NOT be typical, though. I'd rather her not have to struggle the way her brothers will have to to catch up. *sigh*

I really don't know why I'm worrying about this right now. I guess I'm just having a hard time since my hormones are so high and I'm so close to my due date. Maybe I'll feel better after she's here and I fall in love with her sweet face because as of now, she's just an idea to me, not a reality. Not until I see her and hold her will I really know life with her.

On top of all of that, the fact that I'm worrying about these things scares me. I had similar thoughts before I had Jamesen and I ended up having PPD really bad. I don't want to get that again. It was bad. At least I know what to look for now since I've already been through it and at least my boys have each other. I find some comfort in that. If I end up having PPD like I did before, at least they'll have each other to keep company and all that since I won't be very good with the whole social aspect during that time.

Anyways, if you got this far, thanks for reading. I just needed somewhere to write my feelings down.

Hooray!

Sabe's en route! :)

Marcus has been asking for him multiple times a day the last 3-4 days. Funny how their frequency in asking for him always increases right before he comes home. It's gonna be awhile before he gets here though. It's a long process apparently, lol!

Marcus is doing so great in school. He loves it and asks to go every day. He's going to be so excited when September hits and he can go to real preschool. He missed the cut off date by 2 days but it's working in his advantage really. I was thinking of holding him back an extra year from his delay anyways. His articulation is getting better and he's been saying spontaneous sentences, but progress has been slow. Any progress is a good thing though. Gotta remember that!

Jamesen is doing really good. His autism test is tomorrow. I don't know if I'll walk away with any information or not. We'll see how it goes. He's doing really great though. He's such a sweetie. He's a tank though. He's getting to the point where he can beat the crap out of Marcus. Marcus will start picking on him and Jamesen definitely knows how to take care of himself! It's quite funny to watch. Marcus gets surprised every single time. You'd think he'd learn to leave Jamesen alone, LOL!

They've started having conversations between each other and it's soooo cute! Nothing amazing, but they will take turns saying stuff to each other. it's usually the same "conversation" over and over, but it's a start and I'll take it! I'm loving all the talking that's going on in my house!

My due date is in a week from tomorrow! I'm hoping that Gemma will wait until my mom comes to watch the boys and be a day late. It would be so convenient and perfect. We'll see.

Anyways, I'll update more when I know more tomorrow. We're going to be having a crazy couple of weeks coming up!

IEP meeting for Marcus

We went to Marcus' IEP meeting on Thursday. Overall, it went as expected. He's extremely behind in speech. This test was the "Verbal" score where he tested in the 12th percent and at a 2 year 10 month level. I was actually expecting it to be pretty low, but that was a little bit of a blow. I can't really say I'm surprised though... He's really got no concept of back and forth conversation and being able to communicate in real sentences.

However, he scored very high in his fine motor skills. One test they gave him consisted of stringing beads, cutting along lines and copying pictures. In that test he scored at an almost 6 year level. This was the "Spacial Cluster" score and he actually scored in the 95th for that one.

He did petty good on everything except communication. I'm actually pretty proud of him! We've started him in the STEPS program at the preschool he was tested at. We go for 2 days a week, 3 hours each day. I'm actually really excited that he only qualified for 6 hours a week! They're working on his communication rather than speech specifically. He's got speech therapy already, so I think this will be a perfect fit!

We went for our first day of school on Friday and he was so excited! I told him on Thursday night that if he wanted to go to school, he had to go to bed, so he rushed to his room, put on his pjs and climbed into bed as fast as he could. The next morning I had to wake him up to get there on time. All I said was "Marcus, do you want to go to school??" and he excitedly said "OK!" and got up to get ready. He was so excited! He had absolutely no problem with leaving me at all!

Jamesen was pretty upset when we left Marcus though, especially when we got back into the car, and even more so when we pulled into the driveway. It took awhile to calm him down at one point he was actually running away from me and screaming :( broke my heart. He calmed down after a bit though and we had an ok 3 hours alone. When it was time to go pick Marcus up, I asked if he wanted to go get him and Jamesen lit up and was so excited! I love seeing that brotherly love!

When we got to the school, they brought Marcus to me and he turned and ran away from me, screaming no. Totally broke my heart. I'm so glad he enjoyed it though! We had a pretty rough day afterwards, but I think it was mostly just due to the changes and things. Friday was pretty rough too. Marcus has been having a hard time, from what I assume is Sabe being gone on top of all the new stuff we have him doing. Sabe's only got another week or so left before he comes back. I hope our world settles in ok with Gemma coming right after that! It's gonna be pretty crazy around here!

Anyways, we've got J's autism test on the 28th. I'll update again then

Tongue Tied no more!!

We had a crazy morning, let me tell you!

We went in really early to an appointment for Marcus. The ENTs were supposed to evaluate his tongue tie and let me know if they would snip it or not. The guy walked in, looked at his tongue and goes, "Now THAT is a tongue tie! Really textbook." After talking back and forth for a few more minutes, he goes, "We can snip it now if you want!"

I really don't do well with things like that. I can barely even be in the room when shots are given to the boys. It goes against all my motherly instincts to hold my child down while someone inflicts pain or causes them to scream. I usually make Sabe do things like this, but he's in Cali right now and wouldn't have been available anyway.

The ENT must have seen the look of panic on my face when he said we could snip it right then and there because he offered to do it at another time. I figured another time would just give me more time to stress over it, so we should just do it now.

Marcus must have known something was up because he refused to let the ENT spray the initial numbing spray on his tongue. I let him do it to me to show Marcus it was ok and man that stuff was nasty! Marcus wasn't very happy. He was even more unhappy when the Dr brought the needle with the heavy duty numbing stuff. I can't even tell you how hard it was for me to have Marcus sit in my lap while I hold his hands down, a nurse hold his head still from behind me and the Dr forcing his mouth open and tongue up so they stick the needle in. He cried so hard. At one point I just felt like I couldn't do this and went to leave the room but he clung to me and wailed and I just knew I couldn't leave my kid while two strangers held him down. I had to be there for him.

We then had to hold him again while they snipped his tongue tie. He fought us so hard. I did more bawling and he kept biting the Dr. He's one strong kid! After what seemed like 5 whole minutes (it was probably more like a single minute...) it was finally done and he just clung to me and cried. I felt like the worst mother ever for putting him through that. I cried all the way to the car and all the way home too.

Despite how awful the procedure went, he's doing really awesome. He's suddenly able to say his Rs and Ls! His articulation is a lot more clear, just hours after the procedure. He's eating and drinking fine too. He's bitten his tongue a few times because he's not use to it being able to move around like it does, but he's doing really great. I feel really guilty that we didn't get it snipped before. Hopefully I'll have more stories of how great Marcus is doing in the next few weeks.


We did have the initial eval of Jamesen for autism a few days ago. There was a significant amount of autistic tendencies that she wanted to test him for it and so we'll be going back on the 28th for the test. He's actually doing really well. I'm not sure what to think on that front anymore. He's acting a lot more like a typical kid most days, though he does still have bad days. He's not having monumental meltdowns as often as he did before. Testing him won't hurt, so I'm going to go through with it and just cross my fingers for the best news, while being prepared for the worst.

In Gemma news, I'm 36 weeks! Won't be long now! I hope she waits until at least her due date though, so my mom can be here to watch my hooligans. She's under lock and key until the 4th of April!

Yeah so we're just hanging out, waiting for March to hurry and pass so daddy will be back home. He went into "the box" today, so we'll have no contact with him for the next 2 weeks. Hopefully it all goes quickly! The boys sure do miss him and ask for him every day. I hate when he has to leave! It's been really hard this time around, on Marcus especially. I think it's mostly that Sabe only just recently came back from that two week course he was at, only to leave again, not to mention he's got to know a huge change is coming. Kids know these things.

I've been carrying a baby doll around for the last 2 days like I did right before I had Jamesen and both boys are being so sweet to it. Really makes me happy since Marcus was violent towards the "little brother" one. They're both older than Marcus was when I had Jamesen though, so hopefully that helps in the transition. Marcus likes to kiss my belly, which is totally adorable, whether he realizes what's really going on or not!

Anyways, that's it for now. Until next time!